Horror Movie Review: Shiver (Eskalofrío)

Shiver (Eskalofrío)
Made in: Spain
Language: Spanish
Director: Isidro Ortiz
Starring: Junio Valverde, Mar Sodupe, Blanca Suárez, Francesc Orella, Jimmy Barnatán, Roberto Enríquez, Paul Berrondo, Pau Poch
Year: 2008

Review written by: Joe Yang

Originally published at: Foreign-Films-For-You.com

Synopsis: Santi (Junio Valverde) is a lonely teenager living in Barcelona with his mom, Julia (Mar Sodupe). He suffers from a condition called Photophobia, where he's hypersensitive to sunlight. As a result, he can't really do much during the day.

Other kids his age think he's a freak, his father, Oscar (Paul Berrondo), is a compulsive gambler, and his best friend Leo (Jimmy Barantán) is a pop culture geek who's as much of an outcast as he is.

At the advice of his doctor, Santi and his mother relocate to a remote village in the north, where the days are known for being short. The house they find is a little rustic, but it has all the necessary amenities for modern life.

But as in most horror movies, it comes complete with spooky shadows, window shutters that rattle really easily, and an attic full of stuff that belonged to the previous tenants. Yup, that's right. Nothing out of the ordinary around here...

The landlord, Dimas (Francesc Orella), seems okay, and although school isn't great, it's not as bad as it was in the big city. Santi befriends Tito (Pau Poch), a kid who's small for his age, and Ángela (Blanca Suárez), the attractive daughter of the local police inspector, Antonio (Roberto Enríquez). But before Santi can settle in, he learns that there's something strange about this quiet little town.

Something scary lives in the woods, and it's known for viciously attacking livestock. When it starts killing people, Santi just always happens to be around. Naturally, he's blamed for the deaths, or at least he's suspected of being a part of them. But as the frights escalate, Santi tries solving the mystery himself with the help of his friends. And before long, he uncovers a dark secret about the small town...

The Good: Cinematically, Shiver looks great and much credit should be given to production designer Pilar Revuelta (who worked on Pan's Labyrinth).

The story moves at a good pace, and unlike horror movies done in the US, the acting here is very good. Although the storyline isn't too different from a scary movie that you'd see Stateside, the higher caliber of acting gives the film more depth and intelligence.

The bloodshed isn't over-the-top. In fact, since many of the gory scenes take place in shadows or under shaky flashlight beams, director Isidro Ortiz leaves much of the horror to your imagination. Shiver contains plenty of solid suspense, and instead of going for cheap, jump-out-at-you scares, most of the creepiness is carefully constructed and plays more upon simple fears (being home alone, thunderstorms, lost in the woods, etc).

The Bad: Shiver doesn't make full use of all its major elements. Santi's photophobia is interesting, but it never plays out in a major way. It would have been better if, for instance, his "handicap" became a strength at certain times. If he can't come out during the day, then it's only logical to assume that he's at his best during the night. But no. Here, he's as scared of the dark (and ineffective in it) as anybody.

Tito has the potential to be an interesting character, but he sort of just disappears halfway through the story. And the love interest, Ángela, is underdeveloped as well. Without spoiling the ending, there are also some minor questions of logic that'll bother you if you think about them too much.

Who would like this movie: You should watch Shiver if you're fan of foreign films, and horror movies (particularly Spanish ones) that are focused more on scares than gore. Parts of the movie will make you think of movies such as Sleepy Hollow, Lost Boys, and maybe even the Blair Witch Project.

The overall premise is pretty familiar, but it's told very well. I suppose this counts as a teen movie in some ways, but it doesn't look cheesy nor does it insult anyone's intelligence.

There are no boob shots (which may be a disappointment to some), and since it's made in a country with no drinking age, I was mildly surprised to see that none of the main characters (or victims) got trashed. Perhaps that a cultural thing, which proves that foreign films are indeed educational.

For the most part, Shiver is an engaging thriller. It's not perfect, but it easily surpasses a lot of Hollywood stuff aimed at a similar demographic.

(3 out of 4 stars)

Cheerios...a drug?

Here's something scary.

Everyone's heard of the cereal Cheerios, right? And if you pick up a box, you'll see some sort of label claiming that it's good for your heart and lowers cholesterol. I'm not sure if that's actually true or not, because personally, I don't eat Cheerios. I think it tastes like cardboard.

But the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) sent General Mills, the company that makes Cheerios, a stern letter that states: "Based on claims made on your product's label, we have determined Cheerios is promoted for conditions that cause it to be a drug because the product is intended for use in the prevention, mitigation, and treatment of disease."

I'm not joking. The federal government, in all of its infinite wisdom, wants to classify Cheerios as a drug! So if Big Brother has his way, we might not be allowed to buy healthy cereals without a doctor's prescription. And if you buy a box of Cheerios in Holland, for instance, and try to bring it back to the US, maybe the DEA will raid your home.

Some groups, such as the Center for Science in the Public Interest, actually welcome the fact that the FDA will be investigating every minute health claim made by food manufacturers....interfering with free commerce all in the name of keeping us poor, dumb consumers safe.

Now, I'm not sure if Cheerios is the miracle food that it claims to be. All I know is that if it isn't, some private, 3rd Party watchdog group will let us know. Or consumers like you and I will do our own research. In other words, the free market will ensure that word gets around if some health claim (or any product) turns out to be bogus.

Do companies that make false claims and cheat consumers deserve to lose money or go under? Absolutely! But the government shouldn't intervene unless the companies are actively hurting us. Corporations that lie about their products will be punished by the market, because we consumers, who aren't nearly as stupid as the government thinks we are, will weed them out.

And we will weed them out far more efficiently than any bloated bureaucracy ever could.

If Cheerios is classified as a drug because it's "intended for use in the prevention, mitigation, and treatment of disease," then what's stopping the government from classifying ALL healthy foods as drugs? Apples? Whole wheat bread? Orange juice? Yes, I'm being ridiculous here, but if things keep going the way they're going, who's to say if we'll end up needing prescriptions just to go grocery shopping?

Hopefully, common sense will prevail in this case and the government will leave us the hell alone.

End of May...

I'm feeling better about the second draft of It Follows, but right now I'm essentially rewriting much of the story. It'll be more psychological and character-based, and even though it's a long process, I think it'll be a better book because of the changes.

My goal is to get this thing done in June. Wish me luck!

IT FOLLOWS - 1st draft complete

A few days ago, I finished the first draft of my 2nd novel. Now I'm in the revision/editing stage. And as it is with most revisions I make, much of the central storyline has totally changed. So suffice it to say, the plot description of It Follows, as seen on my website, is no longer accurate. But fear not, the story is much more focused and probably works better now.

Horror Movie review: THE MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN

The Midnight Meat Train
Made in: USA
Language: English
Director: Ryuhei Kitamura
Starring: Bradley Cooper, Vinnie Jones, Leslie Bibb, Brooke Shields, Barbara Eve Harris, Tony Curran, Roger Bart
Year: 2008

Review by: Joe Yang

Originally published at: Foreign-films-for-you.com

Synopsis: This movie was adapted from the short story by renown horror writer, Clive Barker, and is from Volume One of the Books of Blood collection. Leon (Bradley Cooper) is a talented, ambitious, but broke photographer who specializes in taking candid, urban street shots. With the help of his girlfriend, Maya (Leslie Bibb), he's able to meet with Susan Hoff (Brook Shields), a famous art dealer.

Although she sees promise in his work, Susan bluntly criticizes his portfolio. She points out that Leon needs to be more courageous with his photography in order to capture the true emotional essence of the "city's soul."

While in a subway station late one night, Leon photographs several thugs who are about to rough up a young woman. He manages to prevent the crime, and his intense photos, once developed, have enough grit and raw realism to impress Susan. On the brink of success, Leon just needs a few more pictures like it in order to make it big.

Leon then becomes drawn to a quiet, dour, and scary-looking subway rider named Mahogany (Vinnie Jones). Unbeknownst to Leon, Mahogany is actually a serial killer who rides the trains late at night, brutally slaying unsuspecting passengers with the help of a heavy meat hammer. After slashing or decapitating his hapless (and often annoying) victims, he strings their messy corpses up like slaughtered cattle.

Leon soon becomes obsessed with Mahogany, who may be connected to a hundred year-old mystery involving a killer known as the "Subway Butcher." This leads the photographer down a dark path as he risks life and limb to find the bloody truth.

And through it all, everyone in this movie is still considerate enough to observe the no-smoking rule on the subway.

The Good: The Midnight Meat Train has a lot of solid suspense, and a great build-up. Bradley Cooper does a good job as the photographer who becomes obsessed to the point of becoming mentally unhinged. The psychological change surrounding his character is intriguing, and the mystery behind Mahogany and his gruesome purpose will draw you in.

Director Ryuhei Kitamura often moves the camera in creative ways, and makes use of a dark, bleak-looking atmosphere that perfectly captures the mood of the film. The editing and lighting give The Midnight Meat Train sort of an "indie" look, which makes it seem a cut above the average modern slasher.

Former footballer Vinnie Jones is perfectly cast as the mysterious Subway Butcher, and Kitamura masterfully pulls the viewer along, giving us enough clues to know that there's a well thought-out plot. But at the same time, he never gives so much away that the movie becomes predictable.

The Bad: The ending. Although it all comes together in a coherent, sensible way, the story sort of wraps up a little too quickly. Truth be told, I found it really disappointing.

Who would like this movie: Take The Midnight Meat Train if you like the works of Clive Barker. I haven't read the original short story (shame on me, since I myself am a horror author), so I can't guarantee that Barker fans will like it. But it's sure to spark a reaction.

As I said, the first half of the film is excellent and much better than a by-the-numbers slasher that's content to throw blood all over the screen for the sole purpose of grossing you out. That being said, this movie has plenty of blood and cringe-inducing graphic violence to remind you that, in the end, it is indeed a horror movie. So if you enjoy watching eyeballs getting plucked out of heads or corpses getting stabbed in the genitals, then this movie's definitely for you!

But despite a great build-up and some genuine suspense, The Midnight Meat Train gets a little off-track with a so-so ending.

(2 and 1/2 stars out of 4)

What's scary these days anyway?

By Joe Yang

A few years ago, when "torture porn" schlock such as the Saw and Hostel movies arrived in cinemas, people really started getting scared that the nation's youth was (yet again) headed down the path of destruction.

For a brief moment, people wondered if the initial popularity of such films was going to become a major trend. Parents to pundits, including Fox News commentator Bill O'Reilly, voiced concern over what these torture movies said about modern society. These movies, after all, were brutal. And they made millions.

But years later, the Hostel sequel and the Saw franchise haven't enjoyed the same kind of box office successes that they had when first released. Although still somewhat popular, they don't seem to pose any kind of major cultural threat.

In other words, the world didn't come to an end because of a few sick movies.

So what scares people these days? As a horror writer, who's undoubtedly also fascinated with horror movies, I wonder if there are any ideas out there that can grab people the way Tobe Hooper's original Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Hitchcock's Psycho did.

When director Wes Craven methodically deconstructed the modern horror movie with the Scream series, he exposed every laughable flaw and formulaic plot turn of most scary movies. This was fun for a while, but seems to have had unintended consequences for later horror movies.

Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees have practically become caricatures of themselves. Aliens and Predators have made more of a mess out of their reputations than Democrats and Republicans. Edgar Wright's Shaun of the Dead took the scariness out of zombies (albeit brilliantly), and now it seems that all we're left with are remakes. Sure, an original killer is created every now and then, but when's the last time a slasher's name carried the same weight as Freddy or Jason?

And with the rise of ultra-realistic video games on advanced game consoles, it looks like the horror film industry only has more to compete with.

However, I remain optimistic. Horror is an element of popular culture that will always be in demand. The basic instinct to purge our deepest psychological fears is as necessary as breathing. So what will they think of next? I have no idea.

But believe me, it's coming...

New Short Stories

I've posted 2 new short horror stories at my website. You can find them here.

They'll give you a good idea of what my writing style is like, so please have a look (unless you're too scared).

More stories will be posted as soon as I finish writing them. Enjoy!

I like horror, not extreme violence

By: Joe Yang

Every time I tell someone that I write horror stories, very often they assume that I must like watching horror movies too. The reasoning seems logical. I write "scary" stuff, therefore I must always be the first one in line whenever a new Saw movie comes out, right?

Wrong.

I'm not sure how it is with other horror writers, but for me, horror isn't actually my favorite cinematic genre (comedy is). That isn't to say that I avoid horror flicks altogether. For instance, Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho is one of my all-time favorite scary movies. Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the original, not the terrible remake) was a brilliantly made psychological horror movie, in that there was very little (if any) gore but plenty of frightful stuff left to the imagination. Night of the Living Dead captured the nihilism and emotional despair of the Cold War 60s, and the recent Spanish film, The Orphanage (El Orfanato), is not only a great ghost story, but a moving drama as well.

Whenever I find myself talking about horror, I inevitably get into a discussion about movies containing extreme violence. Or "torture porn," as it is better known (what an overused term). I have not, and absolutely have no interest in seeing movies such as Wolf Creek, Saw, Hostel, or Barney vs. The Teletubbies.

But at the same time, I'm not going to rant about how depraved society is becoming, and that the movies mentioned above will breed a generation of desensitized Columbine copycats. The films of Eli Roth and his oft-criticized compatriots simply aren't my cup of tea, and I'll leave it at that. And for one, I don't think movies like Saw or Hostel will bring about the end of civilization as we know it.

After all, people thought that Elvis' swinging hips, the Beatles, and shows like The Simpsons were going to spell doom for the children of tomorrow. But did they? Hmmm. Let's see. Today, Elvis' songs are innocent, the Beatles were actually pretty well-dressed (in their early days, at least), and The Simpsons is now arguably one of the cleaner shows on TV.

So no. I don't think the fleeting popularity of "torture porn" movies is evidence that the world is going to hell in a Happy Meal. In my opinion, it's pointless shock value (but I can't say for sure since I haven't actually seen those movies). The controversy and hype will draw a lot of curious viewers. But like pinball machines, the new Volkswagen Beetle, and MC Hammer, it's probably just a fad until the next big thing comes around. And I'm almost certain that civilization, and all the iPods included therein, will still be intact when it does.

So just what kind of horror do I like, if you must know?

First off, I like the kind of horror story (a book and/or movie) that actually has a coherent storyline. Secondly, I like a horror movie that has some sort of purpose beyond the story being told. This can include, but is not limited to, social/political commentary, satire, the exploration of personal or collective fears, and why we shouldn't build giant robots that can't be controlled.

To me, a horror story that scares the piss out of you without being in-your-face graphic is always a winner.

The horror of 80's videogames...

by: Joe Yang

With scary games such as House of the Dead, Resident Evil 5 (or 6, or whatever number they're up to these days), you practically participate in a horror movie where you get to control the outcome of the story.

With sophisticated game platforms such as XBOX 360, Playstation 3, and the Wii, computer generated gore has never looked more realistic. With the help of a game console or PC, you can almost experience the life of a mass murderer without the inconvenience of getting shot by the police, going to court, or dealing with the media.

That's today.

But what about the videogames of yesterday? Sure, those cute graphics, beeps, and boops seemed so innocent and harmless. But were they? Let's examine a few favorites, and before long you'll discover a darker side lurking underneath all of them. You see, I believe the next videogame-to-horror movie shouldn't be made from the likes of modern favorites such as Resident Evil or Silent Hill. Try this:

PACMAN: An old favorite. A yellow circle goes around eating a bunch of dots while being chased by a group of multicolored ghosts.

Why it's terrifying: The enemies are ghosts. Ghosts can't be stopped, because you can't kill what's already dead. The best Pacman can do is slow them down temporarily after he's taken one of those power pills. The game just goes on, and on, and on. It gets harder and the pills become less effective as you progress. A never-ending quest, unstoppable enemies, and drug use...sounds like a pretty dark premise if you ask me.

Who would direct if it's made into a movie: George Romero or Stanley Kubrick (if he were still alive).

DIG DUG: Here, the main character's job is to eradicate a group of critters that are goofing about underground. Yes, they're a nuisance. And yes, some of them breathe fire and are dangerous.

Why it's terrifying: All the hero has to do is go down there with a gun, and the problem can be solved in a timely, humane manner. But no! Not only does Dig-Dug, or whatever the hell his name is, NOT use a gun.

He goes down there with an air pump, methodically tracks the creatures down one by one, and when he finds them, begins inflating them full of air. Then Dug watches as the animals literally explode! Somewhere, Charles Manson and Ted Bundy are slapping their foreheads for not thinking of that first.

Who should direct if it's made into a movie: Paul Verhoeven or maybe Wes Craven

MR. DOO'S CASTLE: Little girls love unicorns. And even as guys, we associated unicorns with things that were good because some princess with an impressive rack was always riding one. Mr Doo's Castle threw me for a loop when I saw it in the arcade for the first time, because on the side of the game machine, there were these pictures of cute little red unicorns running around.

Then I realized the unicorns were bad.

The story is simple: Mr. Doo is a guy running for his life from a horde of rampaging unicorns that are bent on impaling, goring, or otherwise trampling him to death for reasons unknown.

Why it's terrifying: Mr. Doo, who also doesn't own a gun, never thinks to leave his castle to call animal control or the police.

Instead, he dresses up like a clown and picks up a giant mallet. As he's being pursued, he knocks out sections of the castle floor (that are all conveniently shaped like blocks). Whenever a unicorn gets stuck in a gap where a block has been knocked out, Mr. Doo has to quickly get to the level above.

The strategy is to whack out the block hanging directly above the trapped unicorn. The falling block then falls on the offending unicorn, killing it on impact. You pass the level once you've helped Mr. Doo massacre all the animals.

Who should direct if it's made into a movie: Rob Zombie. And I think Jason Statham would make a good Mr. Doo.

There are many more games out there to comment on, but the point is clear. "Simple" 80's videogames leave plenty of room for more in-depth storytelling, and their violent premises should satisfy the sickest gorehound among us...

My kind of scary

When I tell people that I write horror, instead of doing some real job like working in a cubicle or doing stuff in a lab, they always give me this odd look. Then they probably start wondering if I have a secret room in my place where I carve up dinner guests and serve them to chipmunks and hungry college kids. I don't, in case you were wondering (there's no room for one of those in my apartment).

When we think of horror fiction (or horror writers), we generally think of blood and guts, socially inept geeks who collect porn and comic books, and stressed-out individuals who are one step away from taking a power saw to someone they don't like. The first two are seldom true of horror writers, while the third applies to more people in the general population than you might realize.

No, horror writers aren't much different from you or the crazy people we distance ourselves from. Maybe we just think about it more.

Blood and guts. No, that isn't what horror writers are obsessed with. At least I'm not. Speaking for myself (and this is may be true of most horror writers), I do have a tendency to think about scary stuff a lot. Not stuff like ghosts and axe murderers, but things that could go wrong at any moment. Things like job security, freak accidents, and what we'd do if the people you once trusted turned out to be hiding something really sinister.

Or what about stuff that you're supposed to believe is good? Like hybrid cars, for instance. Yeah, they get great mileage, but has anyone thought about what to do with the highly toxic (and environmentally unfriendly) battery that powers that thing when it comes time to junk the Prius for a new one? You can't just toss it in the garbage can and let the city handle it, you know.

Hey, I'm all about green energy. But let's think it through before we jump on every green bandwagon that comes along. Remember, zombies are green too. And maybe there's a good reason why...

Website is up

Well, after talking about it for so long, I finally got around to putting together a website for my writing. It can be found here.

Of course, more stuff will be added to it as time goes on. Indie writing is a lot of fun, but it's a heck of a lot of work. I wrote another 1500 or so words this morning (for my next novel), and tomorrow I'll be adding at least another 1000.

I'm still feeling my way through the whole self-publishing bit, and the marketing aspect of it seems so overwhelming. There's so much information out there, and so much to learn.

Now that I'm starting to immerse myself more and more into writing, it seems as if I've stumbled upon an exciting time. The nature of publishing, thanks to the rise of digital technology and the web, seems to be changing. Self-publishing is losing its stigma, as the business model of "conventional" publishing company proves to be less cost effective.

There goes a notion that self-publishing (where anyone can become a published author) will lead to a flood of poor-quality books. I strongly disagree. First of all, the discipline and drive to undertake a task as daunting as writing a book will weed out the lazy and unmotivated. And secondly, the free market will largely determine which books are "good" and which ones stink. Self-publishing, or indie writing, is gearing up to be a much more democratic way for new talent to get noticed.

But whether one chooses to be self-published or plans to go the conventional route of finding an agent, and enduring rejection letters, the passion for writing will always be at the core of any success. As a writer, do you love what you do?

Progress & other stuff

Since the end of January, I'm pleased to have hammered out several thousand more words, and feel that the new novel is going well. Novel writing is tough, but fun. I can't wait until this thing is done.

The website progress continues- I've started designing the multimedia page, and still have a bunch of decisions to make with that.

More to come...

Progress on new book, and other stuff

I finished another 1,000 words yesterday, and another 1,000 the day before. It Follows is coming along but it's going to quite a task to get it done. I intend to complete it within the next few months, though.

I'm also building the web page for my writing. I just started putting the "Multimedia" page together, and will be scripting a little video for it soon. Of course, I'll let you know once the website goes live.

Those Things will be available again online once the cover gets revised. The original version was a wee bit dark but the company seems to have sorted the issue out.

Stay tuned for more!

Progress on latest project

Novel writing is tough, but I'm loving it (so far). I hear it's good advice to write 1,000 words a day. Today I did manage to meet my daily quota, which was good. The official Joe Yang website is still under construction, and I'll let you know when it launches.

I also hosted/DJ'd the weekly Salsa/Tango party in downtown Madison- great turnout tonight! Fun crowd, lots of good dancing too.